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The Reason to go to France

Step One: Type in Road Trips on the search bar on Facebook, then click the top result.

Step Two: Look for the linked word automobile, click on it.

Step Three: Click on the linked word transport.

Step Four: Next click on the linked word pipeline.

Step Five: On the left, click on the linked word Francais

Congratgulations!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You now have a reason to go to France. You now know a bunch of meaningless words in French!

The Guide to Facebook!

1. While on the computer, put on Facebook you're in a relationship no matter if you are or not.

2. Always have a picture of you "looking" like you are having a fun time.

3. Comment and like everything your friends post.

4. Always post where you are, even if you are walking down the stairs.

5. Friend everyone you see, whether you know them or not.

Cheesy Super Shoe Ad

Super Shoe Ad

Radio Host 1: Hey Bob guess what?

Radio Host 2: What?

Radio Host 1: I got these new super cool shoes with laces that tie themselves! You heard me correctly people listening to the radio, laces that tie themselves!

Radio Host 2: Where can we get these amazing shoes?

Radio Host 1: You can call: 999-999-9910 or go to www.supercoollaces.laces.shoes.org.

Radio Host 2: Is there anything else we should know about these amazing shoes?

Radio Host 1: Yes they come in; Green, Red, White, Black, Gold, Pink, Purple and any color that starts with B. Custom design at the website. There is also a soft cushion at the heel that, when stepped on, allows your shoes to breath!

Radio Host 2: These really are super shoes!

Radio Host 1: Yes they are! Order fast, because we are running out of stock fast!

Fictional Story Script About a guy That Lived a Long Time

Insany the Insane kid.

Once in Telluride there was an eleven year old kid in 1995 called Insany. He got his name by being an insanely awesome skier. When he was a little kid he liked to walk across roads with his skis, because he liked to see the reaction of people. When he got bored he would walk to his house, on his way he would see the Sheridan Opera House, bikers, his best friend Casper’s tree house, trampolines and cars. His friend had a great dog, He-Who-Shall-Be-Nameless, or Nome (short for no and name). This dog always lay there with his head always looking at the people who pass him. He has a very boring life. One day on his daily routine walking across roads he was hit by the Telluride Express. He was in a coma for 34 years, his family had never given up hope. He woke up suddenly and wondered where he was, and what all this futuristic equipment was around him. He got out of his bed and realized he was in a gigantic high tec room full of medical supplies. He saw a wall of what looked like candy, and there was two people inspecting one of the little boxes. As it turns out the two people were looking at medicine, a huge wall of medicine, made sense. He saw the exit, so he bolted, and ended up flying 15 feet to the ground, not a scratch. He looked up to see what he fell out of and he looked up to see Casper’s tree house, and to see a tall version Casper, and a dog made of steel following him.

“Hey you made it,” Cried the supposed Casper, “Glad you are finally back Peter!”

“Casper?” Said Peter suspiciously, “How do you know my name and what is that…robot dog thing behind you? What happened to me?”

“Well you were hit by the Telluride Express-“

“Dang that Phil-“

“AND you went into a coma…for 34 years. The doctors said it was impossible.”

“What…are you talking about…I tripped and fell on the road, and…and-“

“Phil hit you and he stayed by your side,” Said Casper, “until two years ago when your twitched your finger, he immediately had a heart attack, and for that robot, he is Nome.”

“What year is it!” Suddenly Peter’s breath was taken away.

“2029, things have changed, actually everything has changed”

“No this is a prank-“

“It’s not, I’ll show you the new trampoline model…”

And so Casper showed Peter, or Pete all of the latest technology, but Peter would still not accept it, so he ran towards the mountain, his true home. On his way, he was hit by the Telluride Express, by Phil’s son, Crill, and went into a coma. After 12 years Pete died, and Casper was there. He died at the age of 57. On the way to his funeral the day later, Casper heard banging in the coffin. He opened it to find Peter sit up and yell.

“IT WAS TOO CRAMPED THERE!” He shouted, and took in a deep breath, “Coffin air really does not taste good at all!”

“Stop scaring me like that!” Shouted Casper, “ Really, just look both ways when crossing the road, deal?”

“Deal”

So the two men lived a long time, Casper to be 102, and Peter to be 153. While alive they skied as much as they could, and lived in style, as Peter had become the biggest news story of the decade.

THE END

Worst...Song...Video...Ever

So today I was browsing through youtube and see a video, not just any old video, one that stood out. So I clicked on it and I was blown away! This video is outrageous, amazing and really, really, really, really bad. Really, Miley Cyrus is better than her. The song starts with "7am wake up in the morning gotta be fresh, gotta go downstairs. Gotta have my bowl, gotta have my cereal. The video is good for living longer,it is a proven fact that laughing makes you live longer. Watch this video to live forever! **Lyrics Below**

7am, waking up in the morning
Gotta be fresh, gotta go downstairs
Gotta have my bowl, gotta have cereal
Seein’ everything, the time is goin’
Tickin’ on and on, everybody’s rushin’
Gotta get down to the bus stop
Gotta catch my bus, I see my friends (My friends)

Kickin’ in the front seat
Sittin’ in the back seat
Gotta make my mind up
Which seat can I take?

It’s Friday, Friday
Gotta get down on Friday
Everybody’s lookin’ forward to the weekend, weekend
Friday, Friday
Gettin’ down on Friday
Everybody’s lookin’ forward to the weekend

Partyin’, partyin’ (Yeah)
Partyin’, partyin’ (Yeah)
Fun, fun, fun, fun
Lookin’ forward to the weekend

7:45, we’re drivin’ on the highway
Cruisin’ so fast, I want time to fly
Fun, fun, think about fun
You know what it is
I got this, you got this
My friend is by my right
I got this, you got this
Now you know it

Kickin’ in the front seat
Sittin’ in the back seat
Gotta make my mind up
Which seat can I take?

It’s Friday, Friday
Gotta get down on Friday
Everybody’s lookin’ forward to the weekend, weekend
Friday, Friday

Gettin’ down on Friday
Everybody’s lookin’ forward to the weekend

Partyin’, partyin’ (Yeah)
Partyin’, partyin’ (Yeah)
Fun, fun, fun, fun
Lookin’ forward to the weekend

Yesterday was Thursday, Thursday
Today i-is Friday, Friday (Partyin’)
We-we-we so excited
We so excited
We gonna have a ball today
Tomorrow is Saturday
And Sunday comes after...wards (Nice)
I don’t want this weekend to end

(Rapping Part)

R-B, Rebecca Black
So chillin’ in the front seat (In the front seat)
In the back seat (In the back seat)
I’m drivin’, cruisin’ (Yeah, yeah)
Fast lanes, switchin’ lanes
Wit’ a car up on my side (Woo!)
(C’mon) Passin’ by is a school bus in front of me
Makes tick tock, tick tock, wanna scream
Check my time, it’s Friday, it’s a weekend
We gonna have fun, c’mon, c’mon, y’all

It’s Friday, Friday
Gotta get down on Friday
Everybody’s lookin’ forward to the weekend, weekend
Friday, Friday
Gettin’ down on Friday
Everybody’s lookin’ forward to the weekend

Partyin’, partyin’ (Yeah)
Partyin’, partyin’ (Yeah)
Fun, fun, fun, fun
Lookin’ forward to the weekend

It’s Friday, Friday
Gotta get down on Friday
Everybody’s lookin’ forward to the weekend, weekend
Friday, Friday
Gettin’ down on Friday
Everybody’s lookin’ forward to the weekend

Partyin’, partyin’ (Yeah)
Partyin’, partyin’ (Yeah)
Fun, fun, fun, fun

Lookin’ forward to the weekend

So Chile is losing to Ecuador 1-0 for a qualifier. Chile is getting desperate so they are probably going to play extremely well to try to at least tie. Wrong. Chile goes to cheating, they hit themselves in the faces for free kicks. Now in fast-mo that probably looks like the guy from Ecuador hit the Chilean dude in the face. Slow-Mo reveals that the Chilean smacked himself with the Ecuadorean's hand. If you look closely you can even see him fumbling to get hold of the guys arm. Stop hitting yourself. Chile got the free kick, didn't score and lost the game 1-0.

American Idol

So I recently started to watch American Idol, because the new judges are awesome. In recent years I didn't like the new judges, the people, or didn't appeal to me. This year is different, its awesome. There is nothing better than watching J-Lo cry and see Steven Tyler flirt with contestants. There are some really awesome people though, like the guy blowing through the melodica (or whatever it is called), and the lady with two kids. This season, is awesome, for all of the haters, American Idol is not getting old. GO J-LO!!!

Top 5 Board Games

5. Clue - A board game when you are the detective. The owner of a mansion has been killed, and there are six suspects, six weapons, and ten rooms. "Detectives" move around the room, making suggestions, and combinations of the suspect, weapon and the room the player is in. There is the suspect, weapon and room in a file, players race to guess what is inside.

4. The Game of Life - A board game where you move by a spinner, win the lottery and go to college. You start out the game by either going to college, or not, but college gives you better jobs like the doctor (which every player wants). You go through life and do things you would do in real life. Get married, buy a house, have a baby, win a TV game show, and retire at millionaire estates.

3. Risk - The epic strategy game of world domination! Take over Asia and hold off an attack from Europe and Africa. This game requires patience and timing, can take days and days.

2. Candyland - Race to king candy in Candyland. Draw a double yellow, go to the yellow after the next. draw an orange, and go to the next orange. Draw Princess Frostine, the card every player wants, and move to the near end. **Warning** Candyland is extremely competitive.

1. Monopoly - Monopoly, the strategy game of market domination. Buy out the Grand Ole Opry, pass go and go to jail. For passing go, get $200. Someone lands on your property? Collect rent! Upgrade your property by building houses and hotels! Whoever has the most money at the end wins.

Auburn 130 Year Oak Trees

The trees at Tumors Corner in Auburn, Alabama have been poisoned. Every time auburn wins a game, those beloved trees are rolled with toilet paper, as tradition. So some Alabama nut comes along and poisons those trees (Alabama is Auburn's nemesis for eternity). The walnut (because he should stick his head in a wall) is in custody for his crimes. Let us look at his performance of killing an icon known and loved by thousands of people. He chose a place being monitored 24/7, and he called in to a popular radio show in the state bragging that he poisoned the trees. He is really not the fastest boat, if you know what I'm saying. This just comes to show that Alabama 

64 Year-Old Walnut

Things I Want

The double umbrella! ~ Why not be more dry, this thing is awesome, I for sure want it, at least to brag about it.

The Smiley Pancakes! ~ Really, that is just amazing. No really that would be cool to eat authentic smiley pancakes.

Jigsaw Couch ~ That is pretty awesome, you can have two couches or one. With one it would be cool to feel enclosed on the couch. Also probably would be awesome for forts.

Water Slide on Water ~ Do I even need to explain? Get that thing out there, start climbing, boom, your down the slide in a lake (or giant pool).

Crayon Rings! ~ Who needs holding crayons anymore? Crayon rings are so on right no, literally. Coloring with your fists is awesome, if you put one on every finger, you can make an easy rainbow too! 


**NOTE** the pictures I got for these are all form THIS SITE

Monopoly Live

Monopoly is a game that everybody knows about. You go around the board, buying properties, paying players and getting two hundred bucks for passing go. It is known for handling money and properties, and keeping track of your mortgages. All this, will change, with the ironically named Monopoly Live! Monopoly live tracks where you are on the board, how much money you have and what properties you have. All the things that makes Monopoly great, is now taken away and made simpler! Can't wait to get one? Neither can I. I am not waiting in line to buy this dumb Monopoly killer. The credit card monopoly was bad enough! classic Monopoly is about counting money, negotiating properties, talking out of miscellaneous things not to do. It is for the authenticity, not, "Oh great one" telling you what to do. I have to give props to Parkers Brothers, thinking like the 21st century.

Best iPhone Games

10. (8.5/10) Robot Unicorn Attack .99c (X-Mas and Heavy Metal Versions Included) - Robot Unicorn Attack may seem repetitive in the beginning, but it gradually gets faster and faster and faster. You get mini fairies/mini unicorns and blast through giant stone stars, the more you get in a row, the more points you get, every time you get 5000 points, you see a metal dolphin fly. So when your going extremely fast, you tend to run into giant stars.

9. (8.8/10) Near Orbit Vangaurd Alliance 2 $6.99 (N.O.V.A. 2) - The single player is great, riding on bikes, man a turret car, sentry gun type things, snipers. This app is too wonderful to describe. Only bad thing is the final boss is extremely hard. The multi-player is lacking fun, but campaign covers for it.

8. (9.0/10) Archetype .99c - A great multi-player game. You don't even need WiFi to find a match, just 3G. With a variety of guns and two types of grenades, your set for a good kill/death. When your cross-hairs aim at somebody, it automatically shoots, so no snipers. Archetype only has multi-player, but still really fun.

7.  (9.0/10) Game Dev Story $2.99 - Your a newly started game developer company and you start creating games for cash. Making a game in the beginning tells you to pick a genre and type for that game, (good combinations  have better sales), how you staff will be motivated, (Normal, Speed, Research and Budget+) and what console you want to develop the game on. There is so much more to the game than the description on the app store tells you. **Warning** Insanely Addictive

6. (9.3/10) Mega Jump FREE - Reach the stars, jump on coins and enemies while getting powerups on the way. Every one hundred coins you get, ten mega points. Mega points can upgrade your powerups, get you new characters and get you backgrounds. I don't know why this little red guy jumping is fun, but it just is.

5. (9.4/10) Paladog! .99c - After the humans become extinct, the forest critters come together and live in harmony. One day, though, the demons bring back the humans to destroy the forest critters. All is lost, but wait, a hero emerges; Paladog. Band together with the critters and destroy the undead human! **WARNING** Insanely Addictive

4. (9.5/10) Drop 7 .99c - Can't explain it, its too awesome.
****MEGA WARNING**** SUPER INSANELY ADDICTIVE

1. (10/10) Plants vs. Zombies $2.99 - Your a new homeowner that just bought a new home. Bad thing is, zombies are trying to eat your brains. Use your defensive plants, like peashooters and walnuts, to be rid of the zombies. First the zombies come from the front-yard with just grass as the terrain. Next they come from the backyard with a swimming pool in it, so you must plant aquatic plants to defend. And finally, you are on the roof, planting pots to plant plants. ****Mega Warning**** SUPER DUPER INSANE FUN

1. (10/10) Pix'n Love Rush .99c - You are a little dude going through different stages collecting coins, protecting swans, and killing bats. The best thing about this game is that when you get ten coins or so, the color of the game changes, making it a little harder to see. ****Mega Warning**** SUPER DUPER INSANE FUN

1. (10/10) Infinity Blade $5.99 - You start out at the cut-scene, you learn to play, then the god king kills you. You come back 21 years later as the son, and you want to kill the god king. The god king is really hard so it takes a couple of bloodlines to kill him. On the way, you have INCREDIBLE graphics, unique game play, and of course a shop for armor, rings (for magic), swords (including the Infinity Blade), armor and helmets.

World's Ten Most Popular Sports

10. Rugby League - Yes, rugby, 26 guys kicking and carrying a football down the field to score. Passing it around, trying to get to the all hailed line. Basically just a bunch of guys running around with no rules.

9. American Football - A bunch of guys running around tackling the guy with the football. A lot a rules, regulations, money, franchises. Maybe the NCAA or NFL needs to learn more from the 26 guys that don't have rules? I don't know, but on thing is for sure I do not understand; the winners of the Superbowl (championship game for NFL) gets a ring? Are they getting married?

8. Ice Hockey - I'm really glad someone did something about ice-skating. This sport should probably be called epic ice-skating. Well its not so, I'll tell you about it. Some people with sticks, trying to get the puck (or major over cooked burger) into the net, always guarded by guy that is the biggest and has the best reflexes. People also watch it, they sit behind a wall of glass and watch the people with the sticks (especially the one with the charred hamburger)

7. Volleyball - Can be played anywhere, on the sand (rugby can be played there), or on the court (rugby can play there too). So here are the basics of the game, someone serves it, it gets tipped up, hit up again, hit up again, then hit across the net. Sometimes something exciting happens, the player jumps and blocks the ball knocking it to the other side (like the picture to the left)!

6. Field Hockey - Surprisingly more popular than ice hockey, it is the same thing but on a feild.

5. Rugby Union - Same as Rugby League, but more championships and stuff like that, field is a little longer, 'nuff said.

4. Baseball - You hit the ball, and run to the white thing, it the person with th ball touches it before you are out, if the ball is caught, you're out, if you get three strikes, you're out, lots of ways to get out. Getting out is the national pastime of the U.S., and is popular in Japan Taiwan, Cuba, Venezuela and South Korea. With everyone playing it, its got to be a boring sport! No? The World Series (only in the U.S.) is the only interesting part of baseball

3. Basketball - The art of throwing a giant bouncy ball, into a basket 10-15 feet in the air. You bounce the ball and run with it. It you take more than one step per bounce, traveling is called. Traveling? No? Should be called "excessive walking". Why this is so popular, I don't know, just like how many licks it takes to get to the center of the lollipop.

2. Cricket - Not much is know about this sport in the U.S. Only thing is that the U.S. knows how to fall asleep easily. Watch some Cricket... ZzZzZz

1. Football (A.K.A. Soccer)- Football (Soccer) is awesome, that is why the earth loves it. A bunch of guys getting rough trying to get the ball, into the net. Its pretty awesome.




**NOTE** The site http://www.sportingo.com/all-sports/a11587_worlds-top-most-popular-team-sports has the order I used, but the sport descriptions are mine.

Top 10 Least Useful Household Items

10. The Phone-book - News flash, the internet, but a good flammable fire-starter. The internet gets you the business you want to call right away, but while scrolling through the phone book looking for Edward Cullen, you can see the armada of Jacob Black while on the way there!

9. Pet Petter - It pets your pet so you don't have to! For around 10$ you get to set how fast or slow you want your pet to be petted. You can just sit there and watch it be pet without the nasty pet fur.

8. Tablet Arm Holders - Don't want to hold your iPad? Your eReader is too heavy for you? The revolutionary new technology is here. Put your eReader on and read, when you need to take it off to go get your glass of water, come back put it on and read. Kid needs help with homework, same thing happens again, convenient?

7. Snuggie - The blanket with sleeves! Read blank books, go to kids soccer games, snuggle with your dog, so much stuff! Why didn't I think of that, I could make a fool out of myself and make my kids wear bags on their heads!

6. Butter Warmer - Got nothing better to do? Watch your butter melt faster than normal. Can't spread your butter? Get a life or get the butter warmer!

5. Boot Bag - It is a rain-boot, as a purse. Need I say more?

4. The Coffin Couch - Watch T.V. until you die!

3. Gold Pills - Yes, it is here! The fancy way to be healthy! Why not spend over $400 on your pills? The best part is you get to see the excess gold at the "post-digestion stage".

2. Deviled Egg Holder - Can't hold the eggs that have been mauled on a plate? Put them in the ultra high-tech deviled egg holder! You can set them down, and pick them up without the easiness of picking them off a plate and no stuff getting on your fingers. Go challenges!

1.  Nothing - Yes, you read correctly, nothing. Winner for sure.

S. Carolina Currency

So the other day I was reading an article that South Carolina wanted its very own, statewide currency. I was thinking, "What the heck!", really? Yes, it mentioned a lawmaker would like to develop its own silver and gold-based currency, just in case the dollar falls through. America, though, is a nation full of 50 different states, but the states have at least one thing in common; they are all Americans living in the states (well mostly Americans). So why develop a different currency in case the American currency, the currency we use as Americans, falls through? If the dollar does fall, every state should nonstop carry it back to the top of the hill as it once was, the American way. Yes, this isn't even realistic, states don't run countries, countries do, so if all the states don't help carry, they will drop the dollar, and it will fall.

**This post in no way an offense to South Carolina**

Telluride Winter Time

So while writing this blog, I currently reside in a top winter destination: Telluride, Colorado. Now the town's name sounds a little silly, Tell-Your-Ride, but I promise, it is the best ski town, not resort, you will experience.  It got its name by the gold bearing ore Tellurium, or "To Hell You Ride" because of the long, strenuous journey getting there, but none of that matters. Telluride is laid back and chilled, always happy and wonderful. Its many restaurants satisfy all and the many things to do on the mountain impress even the highest of high-rollers, attracting fame and fortune. The mountain, is a different story, it is not laid back and chilled, it tests you. With four difficulties on the mountain to mark the runs, and two sub-difficulties per color, it could be said that Telluride warns you. From easiest to hard: there is green, double green, blue, double blue, black, double black and EX (extreme terrain). Telluride has no surprise in the beginning, telling you exactly what you are going to go down. It has well over 50 trails, and doesn't disappoint. Sure a blue is steep in Telluride, but on other mountains that blue is a black. A double blue is a double black, so the terrain is more difficult than the mere sign says. Some of the its features boast the steepest black in North America, and some of the longest lifts in Colorado. Still there is high class food on the mountain, with Alpino Vino, a small winery on the top of the mountain, and high camp to grab a snack and warm up, Telluride offers nothing but the best.